I was told by a friend that readers want to know more about the author of the blog. So here we are, I am a deep thinker and brutally honest with my thoughts. Tons of thoughts flood my mind daily. At times they are entangled in a ball. I have to self-reflect to untangle them to make sense. I am going to share one belief or thinking that dominates my mind.
“You are not good enough” is a train of thought that has been evident throughout my entire life, from childhood, and as an adult. The problem here is, I can’t recall hearing that statement as a child. Yet, my brain is consistently feeding me those words whether consciously or subconsciously. This type of thinking reflects how I view the outcomes of the activities that I am engaged in, from writing blogs to public speaking, or interacting on a personal level with others. Embedded in my psyche and not fully aware of the impact, I have come to believe that that statement is true.
My response to a Catholic nun who did a great review on her social media sites for my book, A Path to Hope, is a recent example of my “not good enough” thinking. When I asked her to write a review on Amazon and did not hear from her, I arrived at the assumption that she did not reply to my email because I messed up by asking her. I berated myself with, “You shouldn’t have asked her” and began to experience a lot of negative emotions. But the underlying feeling that came to the surface as the result of this interaction was the feeling of “You are not good enough.” It was subtle and only recognizable after self-reflection.
“Being good enough” means perfection. It has no flaws. The disappointments encountered as I walked on the journey of life is becoming a tool to teach me that perfectionism doesn’t exist. It only exists in ones’ mind. Due to this truth, I am forced to change my perception of what “good enough” is.
I have come to realize that being good enough means that I did my best and there’s nothing I could have done at that moment that would have made the outcome different. I used all the resources available, and I am to accept and be proud that I was able to accomplish what I set out to do.
I am also beginning to recognize that my perception of the outcome of the activities of what I perceived to be “good” is not the key. Instead, it is the process that counts. It is in the process that I will grow and mature and make the necessary changes for success. The end goal might be different from my expectations. Nevertheless, the process will shape me and teach me life’s lessons. Therefore, I will have to hold on to this truth and not the imagined outcome.
What about you? What thoughts dominate your mind?
Proverbs 4:23, Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life (NLT)